The Witch Rode My Back

Yes my blog title is 'Confessions of a Neurotic Hypochondriac' so let me delve into that for a little bit. Reason being I’m afraid as shit to meet my maker. I don’t want to die and it scares the shit out of me that it can happen at any given moment with no warning at all. Some people mistake my fascination…no scratch that because I’m hardly fascinated with death. But they mistake my concern as the exact opposite and think that I’m suicidal. I R.O.T.F.&.L.M.A.O at that! It’s just that I can feel every little thing that goes on, in and out of my body and I witness things happening that shouldn’t be happening. Like right this very moment I feel sort of a cramp? Or pain? Or shit it feels like air is moving in my back. That’s the best fucking way I can explain it…now this could be Pulmonary Embolism, which is the sudden blocking of one of the arteries of the lung by matter in the blood, such as a blood clot, fat, fragments of a cancerous tumor or an air bubble. The blockage prevents enough oxygen-rich blood from reaching the tissues of the lung, causing lung tissue to die. If the clot is large, it can strain the heart or even cause death. Now I’ve been feeling this for a few days now and sometimes its worst sometimes not. I lie awake most night scared as shit and waiting, which brings me to the other night while trying to sleep.



THE WITCH RODE MY BACK!

The Mexicans describe this as “the dead getting on top” Scientist would say it’s Sleep Paralysis. Either way you say it, it freaked me the fuck out.

This is what happened;

On Saturday morning at about 3:30 a.m, I was laying in bed watching t.v. I started dosing off a little bit so I turned the television off. As I lay there with my eyes closed I started to become uncomfortable and started shifting and turning a bit, my breathing feels a little forced like I can’t get a good breathe in and pains are in my chest (sometimes head) but this time chest. I continue to shift restlessly and I’m feeling a little bit more panicked. I try to ignore it and breathe slowly in and out but the feeling is still ongoing. I put my fingers to my wrist to see if my heart is beating too fast. It is. I can feel it beating against the mattress and hear it in my ears. I’m on the verge of a total meltdown but only on the inside because to any onlooker I’d appear to just be lying there. But the war is going on inside me as I try and lay there with my eyes closed and ignore this hellish experience. Minutes pass and as I try to move positions I realize I CAN’T…I CANNOT MOVE! WTF!! I CANNOT EVEN OPEN MY EYES!!

Imagine – A 600 lb person that’s 6’ tall lying on your back covering you from head to toe and your stuck in that position on your stomach.

Moving would prove fucking impossible and that’s exactly what it was. IMPOSSIBLE!!

I’m in full panic mode now and all I want is for this fat bitch to get the fuck off me so I can move and breathe.

This goes on for what feels like a very long time when finally I break free, it’s like when your pushing against a door that won’t budge and your pushing with all your mite and everything inside you when suddenly the door opens and a flying you go.


I jumped off that bed so fast and flew into the hall outside my bedroom. I stood there looking. Waiting. I walked back into my room, turned on the light and the TV and started balling!!! I was terrified. By now I think it’s about 4:30 or so and the last time I remember seeing on the clock before I fell asleep (light and TV still on) was 6 A.M.


And that’s that!! WTF is happening to me? Am I crazy? Do I need to see a doctor?


My Godmother simply stated that it’s nothing but the Devil and that Until I forgive myself for something’s I’ve done then I’ll be tortured in a sense.