I have a huge disease and it’s called ATTACHMENT!
Ok now, we see what happened with the last episode. But I was just stupid in that case and even my sister says, “You knew he was out of your league from the jump, so that’s your fault”. Oftentimes she’s right about life issues and relationships but shhhh…don’t you dare tell her I said that.
Anyway now I’ve met a new fella that we’ll call, Martin. Now Martin is a lot “different” than me but who ever makes you happy IF in fact that person does make you happy and isn’t a total tool. Not saying that Martin is a tool but just in case he turns out to be. Oh gosh, I’m jumping way ahead of myself so let me just try and stay on track.
There is really nothing I need to tell you about Martin because the whole topic here is my Attachment issues. I tend to latch on to quickly to the first person that shows interest and tells me stuff that may or may not be true I just eat that shit right up and bam, you got me. Then to quote my knowledgeable sis again “once they know they got you they flip the fucking script”. And I know this is true so what is it that makes me keep doing it time after time after time again. If you’re the tiniest bit handsome, and nice, and tender, and cuddly, and attentive, then I’m putty in your fucking hands and I’ll do anything for you, except if it’s going to make me unhappy. But like, as far as giving you something or taking your somewhere or all the small shit, ask it and you shall receive. Very few people know that about me, well except for the aforementioned wise one, but other than that no one knows.
Okay let me breakdown a few hypothetical scenarios to give a clearer understanding.
If girl meets guy and the guy appears to be the least bit interested that her first mistake in believing that right there.
Okay now, guy calls girl that night and they chat it up a bit and he’s kicking the bo bo about how he thinks she’s attractive and how he’d like to get to know her better and take her out, whole time she’s sitting there eating this shit up like, can it be? Is it possible? Does he really? And in her mind she’s already fast forwarded and can see exactly how this “relationship” is playing out scene by scene. Now think for a minute now, this is the very first phone conversation. Yeah…see the problem yet?
Well let’s delve deeper.
So it’s the day after and she receives a text message mid day that could read something as simple as, “how’s it going”. She smiles down at this text with adoration and thinks, “He likes me”. She’s looking forward to tonight’s conversation on the phone. The day wears on and then she’s home getting ancy because the hour is approaching that he called the night before so of course he’s going to call same time, or close to it, tonight.
Nothing…
Nothing…
Nothing…
She looks at the phone, “is it dead? Maybe the ringer is too low”. Now I don’t know how to explain the feeling but it’s like butterflies in your stomach and a tightening in your throat and a jittery feeling when you’re highly anticipating something. Or when your nervous going on an interview or first day on a new job maybe. But it just feels weird, she becomes annoyed then angry and does stupid shit like…put the phone on vibrate, walk off somewhere or go talk outside to some people because she just knows that when she returns to the phone, the message light will be blinking. That’s some retarded as shit right? I know.
Now sometimes when this routine is performed the light will in fact be blinking. But not because of some divine act of mystery that due to her stepping away for 10 minutes channeled his mind to text or some shit. But simply because taking her mind off of it for a few minutes and not having a fucking panic attack staring at the phone is soothing for this ritual.
Now that ritual mentioned above will be performed throughout, it won’t ever stop. Waiting on text, emails, phone calls the whole nine. Anxiously and impatiently
Okay so on it goes, he doesn’t call. She’s pissed as hell and now thinking he’s scum. But then…………..
EUREKA!!!
The phone rings and it’s him and she’s smiling and happy and blushing completely forgetting that she was certified crazy an hour ago and it’s all good.
Except for on an on it goes, he comes past she’s giddy as a school girl.
He doesn’t and she’s clinically proven again.
Then she starts acting weird asking stupid questions like, “what is it that you want”? And “where do you want this to go?” and she’ll send a text or email saying “if you don’t want to talk to me then keep it 100 and just say that”? LMAO mind you this is the 3-4 day they’ve even known one another!!! This activity causes the guy to push back because the challenge is no more, she wants him and he knows it so it’s easy also prohibiting the natural projection of a blossoming friendship or relationship, which ever way it goes it won’t go because he things you’re a clingy weird obsessive nut case. Off with her head!!
Then she’s been rejected again and it’s just dumb! Lol.
So now the big question for you all is why?
Ok now, we see what happened with the last episode. But I was just stupid in that case and even my sister says, “You knew he was out of your league from the jump, so that’s your fault”. Oftentimes she’s right about life issues and relationships but shhhh…don’t you dare tell her I said that.
Anyway now I’ve met a new fella that we’ll call, Martin. Now Martin is a lot “different” than me but who ever makes you happy IF in fact that person does make you happy and isn’t a total tool. Not saying that Martin is a tool but just in case he turns out to be. Oh gosh, I’m jumping way ahead of myself so let me just try and stay on track.
There is really nothing I need to tell you about Martin because the whole topic here is my Attachment issues. I tend to latch on to quickly to the first person that shows interest and tells me stuff that may or may not be true I just eat that shit right up and bam, you got me. Then to quote my knowledgeable sis again “once they know they got you they flip the fucking script”. And I know this is true so what is it that makes me keep doing it time after time after time again. If you’re the tiniest bit handsome, and nice, and tender, and cuddly, and attentive, then I’m putty in your fucking hands and I’ll do anything for you, except if it’s going to make me unhappy. But like, as far as giving you something or taking your somewhere or all the small shit, ask it and you shall receive. Very few people know that about me, well except for the aforementioned wise one, but other than that no one knows.
Okay let me breakdown a few hypothetical scenarios to give a clearer understanding.
If girl meets guy and the guy appears to be the least bit interested that her first mistake in believing that right there.
Okay now, guy calls girl that night and they chat it up a bit and he’s kicking the bo bo about how he thinks she’s attractive and how he’d like to get to know her better and take her out, whole time she’s sitting there eating this shit up like, can it be? Is it possible? Does he really? And in her mind she’s already fast forwarded and can see exactly how this “relationship” is playing out scene by scene. Now think for a minute now, this is the very first phone conversation. Yeah…see the problem yet?
Well let’s delve deeper.
So it’s the day after and she receives a text message mid day that could read something as simple as, “how’s it going”. She smiles down at this text with adoration and thinks, “He likes me”. She’s looking forward to tonight’s conversation on the phone. The day wears on and then she’s home getting ancy because the hour is approaching that he called the night before so of course he’s going to call same time, or close to it, tonight.
Nothing…
Nothing…
Nothing…
She looks at the phone, “is it dead? Maybe the ringer is too low”. Now I don’t know how to explain the feeling but it’s like butterflies in your stomach and a tightening in your throat and a jittery feeling when you’re highly anticipating something. Or when your nervous going on an interview or first day on a new job maybe. But it just feels weird, she becomes annoyed then angry and does stupid shit like…put the phone on vibrate, walk off somewhere or go talk outside to some people because she just knows that when she returns to the phone, the message light will be blinking. That’s some retarded as shit right? I know.
Now sometimes when this routine is performed the light will in fact be blinking. But not because of some divine act of mystery that due to her stepping away for 10 minutes channeled his mind to text or some shit. But simply because taking her mind off of it for a few minutes and not having a fucking panic attack staring at the phone is soothing for this ritual.
Now that ritual mentioned above will be performed throughout, it won’t ever stop. Waiting on text, emails, phone calls the whole nine. Anxiously and impatiently
Okay so on it goes, he doesn’t call. She’s pissed as hell and now thinking he’s scum. But then…………..
EUREKA!!!
The phone rings and it’s him and she’s smiling and happy and blushing completely forgetting that she was certified crazy an hour ago and it’s all good.
Except for on an on it goes, he comes past she’s giddy as a school girl.
He doesn’t and she’s clinically proven again.
Then she starts acting weird asking stupid questions like, “what is it that you want”? And “where do you want this to go?” and she’ll send a text or email saying “if you don’t want to talk to me then keep it 100 and just say that”? LMAO mind you this is the 3-4 day they’ve even known one another!!! This activity causes the guy to push back because the challenge is no more, she wants him and he knows it so it’s easy also prohibiting the natural projection of a blossoming friendship or relationship, which ever way it goes it won’t go because he things you’re a clingy weird obsessive nut case. Off with her head!!
Then she’s been rejected again and it’s just dumb! Lol.
So now the big question for you all is why?
3 comments:
Instead of look towards the future start look at whats in front of your face 9 times out of 10 if you stare at it long and hard enough you can see how the future would really be in other words take your blinders off and start thinking with your mind and stop thinking with your heart and look at life for what it is and stop trying to make every scene a romance novel. Every body aint meant to be the love of your life before you get there you need to play the field a lil bit and not be scared of rejection its everyday life. You know the old saying if at first you dont succed dust yourself off and try again. What dont kill you makes you stronger. How you ask, the more you get use to falling the less it hurts and thats because you know how to break the fall!!
I suffer from this same disease, lets hold hands and go to counseling together -
i knew i wasn't alone!!
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