Wasted Youth

I think I finally have a handle on the whole “still think I’m young” thing. People think that I’m immature or childish but the fact is that I like laughing and making people laugh and having a good joke or two. I don’t see a problem with that. If I sat around in a bitter state all day, that will become a problem as well. But that’s only a little piece of it, I’m not done yet. Another reason I think is because I suffer from wasted youth…say it with me…”wasted youth”, there you go. Wasted youth is when you spend your entire teenage years and don’t accomplish anything. The only thing I accomplished as a teen was how to get the blunt rolled tight enough to have a nice slow smooth pull, so that it wouldn’t burn to fast. I didn’t do any sports, or have any hobbies or involved in any clubs. I wasn’t involved in anything to help me progress socially or academically. I just sat around and did nothing, hence wasted youth. Another fact is I’m jealous of young people. They have many choices laid out and they can pick and choose and do anything they want because they have time to do so, be who they want to be, discover their personality/traits, they can learn a new sport, learn to skateboard, learn to be a dancer, find the boy, learn to play instruments etc., My time is up so to speak. You literally can’t teach old dogs new tricks. Everyone keeps saying, “Oh you’re just getting started” or “oh you’re in your prime” etc... BULLSHIT! This is all stuff people say to psych themselves out and to have something to believe in. If they believe that they’re just getting started then they won’t feel so miserable and like a failure. Yes I am a failure and I am miserable but at least I’m not trying to fool myself into believe I am somebody.

That also could be the reason I’m heavily attracted to younger men. But it’s pathetic to be pining over a 18 year old therefore I’ll probably never settle down and do the whole marriage baby thing because I’m just not really all that into the older ones, nothing exciting about them.

This is just all my opinion so….so on and so on