Well I’m 30. I’ll be 30 fucking ONE in a few weeks and I start by first day of college on the 23rd of August. Pathetic, right, well I think so. I know it’s all about it never being too late and going after what you want when it’s the right time and never looking back or having regrets blah blah blah blah bullshit!
I know all of the positive shit that I’m trained to utilize but the negative is heavy as shit on my shoulders! The negatives have kept me down for 30 fucking years. Am I sick of being so negative, hell yes. Am I sick of being judged incorrectly, you damn right. Am I fed up with people thinking I’m as dumb as a fucking box of circles, right on! BUT still I am not strong enough to punch negativity in the face and embrace positivity as my new BFF.
I know in the back of my mind that I am not able to pull this college thing off successfully and I’ll end up owing money back for nothing and I’ll just add that cost to my list of bad credit bullshit! I’m confused and scared as shit because for one, my memory is jacked the fuck up! I can’t remember shit! All those years of playing house with Mary Jane’s bad ass has caught up with me.
Basically I have two areas of main interest which are Web Design/Development and Writing. Although I have never written, well “finished” writing anything in my life I like to think I have a pretty active and interesting imagination. I also think I’m funny as hell (or so I’m often told) but we all know people like, and that will come in handy when I bang out a bestselling romantic comedy I guess. See, high hopes + no self confidence = failure. In fact that’s my, whatchamacallit? Oh formula, that’s my formula.
Hh+NsC2 =F
Well I settled for journeying toward a degree in English and I’ll minor in computer science I guess. Even though I’ll fail I guess failing is better than not doing anything at all because lets face it the only successful believe bullshit quotes like,
“If you put your mind to it you can become anything you want”
Or
“Hard work goes a long way”
And
“Reach for the moon and you’ll land on a star”
And my personal favorite
“Beauty is only skin deep” -- *crickets*
BOL!!!! Yeah I went a little off topic with that last one but come on people, that really is BULLSHIT and truly something that ONLY ugly people say!! Just like only fat people believe its ok to be fat because what skinny bitch you know lay awake at night and dream about being fat? They say things like, ‘oooh my goodness I wish I had two stomachs and back rolls’, or ‘dammit I fucking hate that I can stand here naked and see my pubic hairs without lifting up my second stomach’
I’m out! I’m running wild with this one, peace out suckas!!!!!
1 comments:
Girl Ima hurt you, you know I can't be BOL'n all willy nilly at my desk!!!
I am with you on the "mantras and sayings"
One thing I can say is you get what you Will to yourself. I for one know all to well what its like to be a negative nancy --- all i get is negative things... I try to focus on the good and will the good to myself... sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt we just gotta make attempts and hope for the best.
All you need is a good young adult body to rub on in between study sessions and you should be good.
And you have to suceed, my laziness is riding on your success, ya hear that bitches?? I got dibs on leaching off of NOYB!
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